Bachelor Alum Rachael Kirkconnell is getting really candid — about not having as much sex. “I feel like a virgin again,” Kirkconnell, 29, shared on the “Extra Dirty” podcast’s October 16 episode. “I haven’t had sex way longer than you think. It’s been years.”
Rachael Kirkconnell, who broke up with former “Bachelor” Matt James in January, told host Hallie Batchelder she simply doesn’t want to “just go give it up to anyone,” after spending so long absent physical touch. Instead, she wants to ensure her next sexual experience is “incredible.”
“I think that’s why I’m a lover girl,” she said, continuing on this track. “And because I feel like how we felt when we were, like, in high school. Not saying everybody felt like this, but you know how everyone just makes fucking losing your virginity into this huge deal? And it’s like, ‘Lose it to someone special?’ That’s how I feel. I’m like, ‘I can’t be giving it up to all just anybody.’ I want it to be special.”
Rachael Kirkconnelll and James, 33, broke up earlier this year after four years of dating. The couple crossed paths on season 25 of The Bachelor, which aired in 2021. After James confirmed the split on Instagram, Rachael Kirkconnell insisted days later that her then-boyfriend had posted the message just three hours after he broke up with her while they were in Tokyo on vacation.
Bachelor Alum Rachael Kirkconnell
“I guess I’ve realized that a lot of it wasn’t me, or my fault or my problem,” Rachael Kirkconnell said when telling her side of the story to sinsofthesouth.org during an appearance on a January episode of the “Call Her Daddy” podcast. “And, I do think it made a difference that I had this conversation with him and heard these things from him. But even if I hadn’t, I think it’s so crucial to recognize that for yourself, you know, ‘It wasn’t fully me. It wasn’t my fault 1,000 percent.” ”
On “Extra Dirty,” Kirkconnell dished that she has been serendipitously single “since I ended things” with James and hasn’t had so much as a ”single date,“ nor is she on any dating apps. And even though she said that she’s not “judging” anyone who seeks love on the internet, she doesn’t know if it would “work” for her.
Kirkconnell also shared that she thinks she could be a demisexual. When Batchelder read aloud demisexual — “a sexual orientation where a person feels sexual attraction only after developing a strong emotional connection with someone else” – Kirkconnell said, “I think that’s me.”
I can think, ‘Wow, that person is really good looking. I mean, yeah, I obviously do because I love the way that they look and I think they’re really hot, but then don’t care after that, cause they could still be like a terrible person or have the worst personality ever, and that would make me not want to sleep with them because that totally turns me off,” she said. “I suppose I’m only turned on to a certain extent by them. “Maybe that’s my issue, I don’t know.”
Rachael Kirkconnell then proposed that everyone be demisexual, because it seems like “such a healthy thing to do.” When Batchelder asked her whether she was also attracted to women, Kirkconnell replied, “I don’t think so; I don’t know,” but added, “It’s all a spectrum, isn’t it?”
Not 100 percent on her sexual orientation, she ultimately said that demisexuality’s philosophy of “having an emotional connection” with someone before having sex resonates deeply with her.
“I don’t think I’d be able to go home with anybody,” she said. “I have to feel safe and comfortable with them but also be emotionally attached at least in some way, the point of where we could date or if I don’t already have a crush on them … So I’m not even looking for physical attraction, I guess.”
